Ruin sorbees

from Ellen Qvigstad, 20 November 1998

A telephonic exchange between a hotel guest and room service, at a hotel in Asia, which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review.

Room Service: "Morny. Ruin sorbees."
Guest: “Sorry, I thought I dialled room service.”
RS: Rye... Ruin sorbees... morny! Jewish to odor sunteen??
G: Uh... yes... I'd like some bacon and eggs.
RS: Ow July den?
G: What??
RS: Ow July den?... pry, boy, pooch?
G: Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please.
RS: Ow July dee baychem... crease?
G: Crisp will be fine.
RS: Hokay. An San tos?
G: What?
RS: San tos. July San tos?
G: I don't think so
RS: No? Judo one toes??
G: I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what “judo one toes” means.
RS: Toes! Toes!... Why dew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlish mopping we bother?
G: English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying “Toast”. Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine.
RS: We bother?
G: No... just put the bother on the side.
RS: Wad?
G: I mean butter... just put it on the side.
RS: Copy?
G: Sorry?
RS: Copy... tea... mill?
G: Yes. Coffee please, and that's all.
RS: One Minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease baychem, tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy... rye??
G: Whatever you say.
RS: Tendjewberrymud.
G: You're welcome.